Good heavenly days, you sound so much like me when I was dating
my Muslim boyfriend. We dated for over 3 years and I broke up with him
before he was to leave back to his country. I almost married him and almost
converted to Islam. I was SO confused when I came onto LAM. I wanted to
marry him and I was a nominal/cultural Christian. I was Christian by name
only, and I never read the Bible really and I only went to church
occasionally when I was home at my parents. God's word did not take
precedence in my life, so it allowed other influences to creep in.
As I was dating my ex, Islam became very attractive to me. I started
like you and doing more research on it and read most of the Koran. It just
looked attractive to me. People were praying five times a day, and Allah
really seemed to come first for them. I really liked that. It seemed a far
cry from any Christians I had experienced. And it basically seemed to be the
same to me. Belief in one God. I would try to talk to my ex about
Christianity and he always had some refute based on the Koran and said the
Bible had been changed. It all made sense to me at that time and sounded
I also became crazy about the cultural aspect as well, and learned the
cooking. The ex and I talked about how it would be if we got married. He
said the kids had to be Muslim or any we had would be bastards. I had
planned on teaching the kids Christianity in secret. He also said no church
wedding, no wedding dress, no dog, no working for me (which he later changed
and said it was ok as long as it was work in the home) and
I had to cover. I thought that all sounded ok because I could compromise. I
would cover to fit into the culture. I wasn't really giving anything up was
I?? Nothing important. He said I didn't have to convert to his religion
These were only surface things for the red flags that were there.
He had already been abusive in the end of the first and the beginning of the
second year of dating. I got slapped because I said something about
Mohammed. Then abuse went on because of his temper. And it was hard
questioning him at all and even talking about my religion. I basically gave
up and just quit trying. I avoided all religious conversations. I went to
the mosque to see what it was like and tried to convince myself and him that
it would work. Towards the end of our relationship, I felt crazy.
He knew my family and had visited them at my home. But they asked me never
married. So I knew I did not have their support. Trying to figure out what I
was going to do drove me nuts and I was happy one minute and sad the next. I
needed to talk to someone to sort out my feelings from a nonbiased
perspective. And I talked to a counselor at my health center at school. I
got nothing from that. Finally, I was doing research on Muslim Christian
relationships and I found LAM. Thank God for this! It was God giving me a
sign and I am glad I heeded!
Did you know that the Bible says that it is a sin to be unequally yoked?
That means not married to an unbeliever. I did not know this. And I was upset
LAM sisters for being so negative and trying to get me out of the relationship,
but something really started to
take hold in my heart. I was not even a strong Christian at this time and it
affected me. I tried to rationalize every which way. I started reading more
stories about the other ladies lives, how some were ok, some were really bad
off, and some were just tolerating and getting by. Some women said their
Muslim men had changed and told them one thing before marriage and then
another after the marriage. They would be ok with they way they dressed,
that they went to church, and being able to teach their kids Christianity,
then all this would change after marriage. They argued over
baptism/dedications and putting their kids in Christian schools or not. This
all scared me.
I envisioned myself in a happy marriage with none of these
issues. I thought probably I could compromise the world. But did I want
to??? And what guarantee did I have that he would not change?? Maybe he
would not have, but I did not want to risk it. We had discussed that neither
of us wanted to go through divorce, but he made it clear I would be doing
most of the compromising.
Also I had to figure out where I was with God in
my life. I could not ignore the fact that basically I was disobeying God by
marrying this man. He was not my spiritual equal. Women on LAM talked about
how sad it was they could not share the Bible with their husbands and go to
church with them, or share their spiritual experiences. God puts this verse
there to protect us, so I ask you to think about this. I realize
you are confused right now. I was too. But from experience, I tell you, put
down the Korans and researches and ask yourself what place God has in your
life and where you feel you are right now. Delve into the Biblical
scriptures and ask God to teach you what he wants you to know.
There is so much I could write. I could go on and on. Ladies here have described
Islam looks great from the outside, but then once they get into it deeper,
and some of the teachings, it really could not be the true religion of God.
Please ask any questions here and stick around and listen to these ladies.
You are right, you would be demoting Jesus upon converting to Islam. He
would no longer be divine, but just another Prophet. He would no longer be a
personal savior to you. In Islam, you would have to work off your sins and
try to gain points with good deeds to make up for what you have lost by
doing a sin. God loves us and wants a relationship with us. He
sent his son as a way to reach out to us, and know us and he wants us to
know him too. God knew that we would never be perfect enough to get into
Heaven without a ransom for our sins. He sent his son to do that, because
God cannot be in any presence of any sin. And all of our good deeds are like
filthy rags to God so we can't get into heaven alone because we are just
human and imperfect. I hope this all makes sense.
I am going to stop now, I don't want to overwhelm you, but I want you to know
am now. I have a wonderful man to worship with because I let God put a man
in my life
instead of trying to control who I dated. We went to a wedding this weekend
with a church service included and it was beautiful to be reminded that I am
able to share this wonderful experience of worshipping God with him. And I
read the scriptures and talk with other ladies and him about things of the
Lord. I can't explain my joy!