Signs of Abuse

 EMOTIONAL ABUSE

      •       Criticizes, humiliates, ridicules, belittles, embarrasses you
      •       Ignores your feelings
      •       Calls you names or shouts at you
      •       Keeps you from working, controls all money, makes all decisions
      •       Threatens to hurt you or your family
      •       Manipulates with lies and contradictions
      •       Refuses to work
      •       Isolates you from friends and family
      •       Threatens to kidnap or harm children

 PHYSICAL ABUSE

      •       Pushes, kicks, slaps, hits, strangles you
      •       Keeps you from leaving
      •       Destroys objects/throws objects at you
      •       Locks you out of the house
      •       Abandons you
      •       Subjects you to wreckless driving
      •       Refuses to help you when ill, injured, or pregnant
      •       Threatens or uses a weapon against you
      •       Abuses or kills pets to hurt you
      •       Destroys or sells your possessions

 SEXUAL ABUSE

      •       Forces sex/stripping against your will
      •       Minimizes your feelings about sex
      •       Criticizes you sexually
      •       Assumes you would have sex with any available person
      •       Commits sadistic sexual acts
      •       Has affairs after agreeing not to
      •       Publicly shows interest in others

 CYCLE OF ABUSE

    1.Tension Building Stage
 Tension builds and there´s a feeling of “walking on egg shells.” The victim may try to be perfect to prevent any more abuse.
    2.Abusive Incident Stage
 The tension explodes in a physicaly and/or emotionally abusive incident. The victim is most often blamed for the incident and may blame themselves.
    3.Loving Behavior Stage
 The abuser says he/she is sorry, begs for forgiveness, and promises it won´t happen again and may say that he/she will get counseling. Physical intimacy is often coerced. The seriousness of the incident is minimized, and the tension starts to build again.
    4.The Cycle Starts Over Again
 The next time the assault occurs, chances are it will be more severe. Statistics indicate that the abuse becomes more severe over time.
    5.Physical Violence/Abuse will expand
 Abuse toward a spouse will nearly always expand to include children in the home.

 NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED

 Source: local women’s crisis shelter

 GETTING HELP

 If YOU are suffering from ANY kind of abuse, please get the help you need by contacting:
 1) your pastor/his wife;
 2) a local women's crisis center,
 3) a national abuse hotline.

 National Domestic Violence Hotline
 (800) 799-SAFE (7233)

 RAIN Hotline (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network)
 (800) 656-HOPE

 Learn how to respond to abuse; learn how to deal with abusive people. You are a very PRECIOUS human being in the sight of God, and you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, gentleness, honor, and respect. Do NOT tolerate abuse!!

 Every husband and wife should keep these Scriptures in mind in their dealings with one another:

 22 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church."
 Ephesians 5:22-29

 Submitting does not mean dominated, abused, mistreated; it means deferring to the decisions of the head of the home; the spiritual head which the Lord God Himself put in place.

 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them."
 Colossians 3:18-19

 "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them [your wives] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; [why?] that your prayers be not hindered." 
1 Peter 3:7

 "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." 
James 1:5

 Every one of us shall give account to God.


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