I'll try to make this the condensed version
I was raised as a Christian, but my ancestry was Jewish and Native American. For some reason, our ancestry was always kept hush-hush in our
family. Because of this, as a teenager in High School, I developed a big identity crises, and began to search for who I wanted to be. I researched all sorts of religions, including Islam and even witchcraft, and hung out at reservation pow-wows, but never really got involved in anything. Until I decided to go back to my Jewish roots.
I began attending Synagogue, studying Hebrew, etc., but there was always something nagging at me. The Pastor of the church I was raised in just smiled as he told me, "You'll be back. Your mother raised you in truth, and you'll be back." One day, I was having lunch with a Christian friend, and she pointed at an ad she saw, and said, "Hey, here's what you've been looking for!," and showed me an article about a Messianic Jewish Congregation. It turned out that she was right! I could have a relationshipwith the Lord Jesus AND still observe my Jewish heritage. I was happy and fulfilled, but not complete - I wanted a husband.
I met my husband in a Middle Eastern restaurant (the whole situation was very unusual, but that's a whole other story). At first, we had a little trouble communicating, as he knew little English, and I did not know Arabic; but when he discovered I knew Hebrew, it worked out because he also spoke Hebrew, as he was from Israel. From the day I met him, we were inseparable. He was so sweet and charming, and did everything he could to please me. We talked about everything! We even discussed how some men were cruel and abusive to their wives, and he made comments like, "Anyone who would abuse their wife is not a man, that's an animal." He was wonderful and kind, and SO handsome! He even was willing to be completely disowned by his family, if necessary, in order to marry me. We talked about how deeply involved I was in my religious practices,and he said that was great. He even came with me once to services. He talked about how children should be allowed to choose for themselves what religion they want to be. One thing I think that Jews and Muslims have in common is that many of them believe
each person has another person somewhere that is meant just for them - their destiny. He and I believed we were each other's destiny, and so we married twice J - once in a Jewish ceremony, and once in an Islamic one.
When the Imam asked me, "Do you understand that the children must be raised Muslim?" I responded, "I understand that is what you believe." He asked twice, got the same response, looked irritated, but moved on.
When I was expecting my first child, I determined that my child, and any other children God gave me would be taught the Truth in God's Word no matter what. I knew I had that responsibility before God. My husband was never religious, and I, from all my earlier research, knew more of his religion than he did. He did not want me to attend church anymore though. First, he would find excuses, like, "I don't feel well. Please stay with me." Then, after awhile, he just told me strait out that he was my husband, so he had the right to tell me not to go, and I was his wife so I had to obey. I tried to keep the peace, and so for a while I did obey. But when I decided enough was enough, I went, telling him that I do respect him as my husband, but I had to put God first. He threw temper tantrums, and became very verbally abusive. When I reminded him of the things he had said before we were married, he became angrier, telling me "How dare you throw something up in my face! You ------! You shut your ---- mouth!"
To shorten this, let me skip ahead. Basically, from right after we were married, until just about two years ago, he continued to be very verbally
and emotionally abusive to the children and myself. (Even if a person doesn't hit you, it can be very frightening and even more damaging to have him shouting nasty, demeaning things at you while his veins stand out on his neck, and his eyes look like a demon). He was EXTREMELY strict with the children (two girls), making them feel like they could do nothing to please him. When we visited the family in Israel, my in-laws loved me, and treated me like one of their own; but a very religious brother-in-law would demand to know why the children were not being raised Muslim, creating a tense situation.
My husband threatened to send the girls to an Islamic school any time they spoke of church or Jesus. But anytime I had an opportunity, I would use it. In everyday situations, I would say, "I believe-----, because the Bible says -----." When a sex abuse case was in the news, I would ask
him, "If a middle aged man wanted our daughter (she was 9 at the time), how would you feel about that?" to which he'd say, "I'd kill him! That's just sick! What does a little girl know about marriage?! That's disgusting!" I then asked him if he knew that Muhammad 'married' Aisha when she was 9 and he was 45? He insisted it wasn't true, called his sister, she told him it was true, but that he was the prophet, so he could do that - “he was special."He repeated that lame excuse to me, but his heart clearly wasn't in it. I would ask him many such questions, and his sister would always confirm that I was right, BUT ... (some lame excuse). He began to question Islam. I knew it, but he was fighting it, and becoming
more and more angry.
I saw that nothing I said was going to convince him. I had always prayed for his salvation, but now I began to pray specifically. I prayed, "Lord,
please speak to Muhammad in dreams and visions, and send a man to him that was before a Muslim and is now a Christian." God answered very specifically. My husband began to have dreams/visions. Once, he came and
told me, "I had a dream, but it seemed real. Your Messianic Rabbi came to me and told me, 'Muhammad, come with me.' I followed, and he took me to this place - this thing that looked like a jacuzzi, and told me to take off all my old, dirty lothes. I did, and he had me get in the jacuzzi. Then he pushed me all the way under the water, and when I came up, he took me by the hand and said, 'Muhammad, come up out of the pit'. Then I got out, and I had on all new pure white clothes, and I felt so clean - I felt like a
new baby." Then he asked me, "What does this mean?," as he knew nothing about baptism at that time. I explained baptism to him, and he immediately called the church to ask if he could be baptized. He was baptized, and received the baptism of the Holy Ghost. When he was watching an Arabic program, he suddenly exclaimed, "They have a different God!" I asked him why he said that, (and when he answered, his face looked just like the cartoon drawings when people have a light bulb light up in their head), he said, "Just listening to that sheik speaking, it just hit me."
Just a very short time after Muhammad was baptized, a certain man just happened to be
passing through town, and met my husband. The man used to be a Muslim, and was now a Christian. He spoke perfect Arabic, and was able to answer many of Muhammad's questions from a perspective that he could understand. He has
not been able to tell his family that he is now a Christian, but they have sensed that something is different about him, and have said as much.
Muhammad is now a Christian, and even wants to change his name. Although things are SO MUCH better now, there are still issues we have to deal with. He's learning (through counseling, and the Pastor discipling him) not to be so domineering and controlling. He's learning to apologize when he says something hurtful. He's learning a lot of things, or shall we say he's UN
learning a lot of things that were ingrained in him by his Muslim culture. The children have learned to relax and have fun with their dad, but the scars will always be there from his tyrant past.
I've said all this to make a point. The point is, before you ever even consider marrying a Muslim, consider the fact that the Lord commanded us to not be 'unequally yoked'
with an unbeliever FOR A GOOD REASON. He commanded it for our own good! If we choose to disobey Him, then we will suffer the consequences. Even if there is a 'happy ending', there are still scars, and a whole lot of pain to go through to reach that happy ending. You may say, 'Well, my guy is different. That won't happen to me'. And to that I say, you might be
right. But the chance that you might be right is, shall we say, slim to none. My case is mild, even with all of the hurt. Other women have far more
horrific tales. The bottom line is, do you really think that it's worth it to take that slim chance? I don't. I love my husband dearly - more than
words can express; but if I had it all to do over again, I wouldn't.
Muslim-Christian marriages: Women telling their story ...
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