Loving a Muslim
A Support Group for Christian Women Dating or Married to Muslims
The "Loving a Muslim" (LaM) mailing list is
a forum and support group for non-Muslim women (mostly Christian) dating
or married to Muslim men. The purpose is to share our experiences and questions
among ourselves, learn from each other and encourage each other.
Please honor the purpose of this list and
do not try to subscribe if you are male or Muslim.
For maximum protection e-mails submitted
to the LaM-list are anonymized. Only the moderator will know the e-mail
addresses of the subscribers.
To subscribe, please fill out the subscription form at
Members' experiences with LaM:
I found the Answering Islam web site and
the information about LaM (
) purely by chance and subscribed to LaM with no real idea of
what to expect. I have now been a member of the list for most of the
last 18 months or so.
For me it is an invaluable source of friendship,
fellowship, information and understanding. Where I live my family
IS the Muslim population / ethnic minority group. In addition my church
is very small and mainly elderly. This means that they have little or
no understanding of what it means to be a married to a foreigner who
also happens to be a Muslim. My family also have no understanding of Islam
and how closely it is intertwined with the culture of Turkey. So because
my husband is not a zealous, Islamic fanatic those other people around
me do not see him as a Muslim, they see him as essentially westernized.
They have no understanding of how his mindset, the way that he thinks
and behaves, his outlook are all inherently Islamic. As a practicing Christian
I sometimes go through great private and personal anguish knowing that
my Christian walk is one that I am doing alone, there are things that I
just cannot share with my wonderful husband despite our strong marriage
and mostly open relationship.
So when I joined LaM it brought me great
joy to find other women who, oftentimes, have the same problems as
me. Women whose Muslim husbands, no matter what their nationality,
have the same outlook on parents, older brothers, raising daughters
and all the other things that when we first fall in love we don't know
or even want to think about. Like most women I thought that my husband
and I would be able to compromise over issues of culture and religion, little
realizing that in reality compromise is often impossible. So with the LaM
list I found ladies who are comforting, supportive, frank and honest. Ladies
with whom I could share things impossible to share with my church or family
- simply because to have any understanding of the Muslim mind, IMHO, you
have to live with it, as all of us on LaM do, have done, or are planning
to, so if you are in a relationship with a Muslim man come join with us,
share your experiences with us and let us share with you -- who knows we
might do each other some good.
For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God.
(1 Cor 3:19, KJV)
I became a member of LaM because there
were alot more issues I know I'll face if I'm married to a Muslim
rather than a Christian man. Especially the future of my children.
Since I've been with LaM, the members have helped me see alot of
things clearer. They have problems that are real. They have spoken
of questions raised by their Muslim partners that are exactly the
same as I am getting from my partner over here on the other side of
the world! I've had answers from members that made me think real hard
and come closer to the truth of what is the right thing to do. Questions
like: How does it feel living in a Muslim / Christian household? What
problems have a person of both Muslim/Christian blood face? How do you
think your Muslim children feel about you? These were questions close to
my heart and were answered from a heart that knows these feelings and
live these feelings first hand / daily. I've learnt alot from LaM. You
will find support given to each other, questions other than religion, poems
and jokes - you can find it all here. We have to accept the good days
together with the bad and help bear it with "strangers" who are burdened
and need to share their pain. So, depressing it may be at times, but
believe me it is more than that. No one here will make a decision for
you, but you will have answers "FOR" and "AGAINST" your questions / problems,
which will allow you to weigh and decide on your own. So, stick around
and learn; there are problems that other Chat groups cannot share with
each other but here there are more than enough listening ears. Here, you
will have a place where more than 2 or 3 "gather" together to discuss /
share about God. Thank you for sharing your life/experiences with me.