to End Life
feels as though no one listen to you; your best friend has moved
away and you don't think anyone else cares. You're having trouble
at school and with your parents, and each morning when you awaken,
you feel like you just want to go back to sleep and never get up.
Life seems to be moving too fast and it feels as though you may
never catch up.
feelings like these that make some of us feel as though ending our
lives would be better than enduring them. After all, is there any
point to living a life of pain? Usually, when we reach this point,
we start out slow, maybe by using a knife or a razor to cut ourselves.
For a while, we're given relief. (Did you know that when we cut
ourselves there is a chemical in our brain, called an endorphin,
that is released to the site of the injury to provide relief? No
wonder cutting is addictive!) So, we cut ourselves, hoping against
hope that someone will see the marks on our bodies and get us the
help we not only know we need but that we want too. Eventually,
though, we begin to realize that cutting offers only temporary relief
and no one has talked about our silent cry for help so we move on
to more drastic measures to end our lives.
we don't really want to die.
we did, if we truly wanted to die, then we wouldn't wear short sleeves
so others could see the marks left by cutting, we wouldn't let others
know we're on drugs, we wouldn't tell anybody or e-mail anybody
about how we really feel. Did you know that nearly everyone who
completes suicide has asked for help, has given warning signs of
their intentions? Why would we do that if we genuinely wanted to
die? Why do something that we don't really want to do? It can be
very hard - very hard - to have to go through loneliness and it
can be hard to feel misunderstood but take a look back on your life.
When you were in the fourth, fifth, sixth or seventh grade, your
first boyfriend/girlfriend moved to a different state and you thought
you'd never heal. But you did. There have been problems in your
life before that made you feel hopeless but from which you recovered.
Likewise, the troubles that you're facing now are temporary: they
are not permanent problems. One day, sooner than you probably think,
you'll be able to leave your parents' home and make choices of your
own for your life. One day you'll fall in love with someone who
will love you just as much. Life is a mixture of blessings and strife
and I know how it feels to be all alone and frightened. I myself
have attempted suicide several times, until I realized that I did
not really want kill myself. You don't either.
of us have a very special and unique purpose on this earth;
a purpose that, when we find it, will provide us with such love
and joy. Wouldn't it be a terrible shame to end life just days before
you find that joy? Many things in life are unexpected and that means
that we often find hope and joy when we least expect it.
do you do if you've decided not kill yourself but the pain still
hasn't gone away? The number one thing to do is praise yourself,
give yourself credit for having the courage to live, instead of
die. And then realize that as much as we would like to think otherwise,
people usually are not as perceptive as we would like to think they
are and that means that we have to reach out and tell them
how we feel: flat out and directly, instead of subtly. There are
lots of people (and places) that are waiting to help you: they just
need to know that you need help. Think of it as a dangerous addiction
and just as people who are alcoholics have to get themselves to
an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting to begin to heal, suicidals have
to say, "I want to kill myself" to someone: a school counselor,
a pastor, an adult that you trust and believe in. The counseling
and group support that you'll recieve when you do this will open
whole new doors of light on
I've highlighted a few facts and statistics about suicide. Hopefully,
the information will help others become more aware of hurting youth
around them and will help show suicidal people that they really
- Suicide is
the 2nd leading cause of death among people 14-18 years old (USA)
- Nearly all
suicidals ask for help
- Suicide is
8 times as likely in gay youth than it is in heterosexual youth
- Girls are
more likely to attempt suicide, while boys are more likely
to succeed at suicide
- Suicide is
4 times as likely among those who have been abused
- Suicide tends
to run in families, but it is NOT hereditary - Suicide
knows no economic class: it affects the poor, middle and upper
- It is common
for suicidal people to express genuine happiness prior to the
suicide. They are happy because they have found a way out of the
- It can
some guidelines for those who need help helping a suicidal person:
leave a suicidal person alone
- Ask anyone
who is depressed whether they want to die. Contrary to many fears,
speaking of suicide can actually save a life. Don't be afraid
to use the words "death" "dying" and/or "suicide". It will make
the suicidal person feel more comfortable in telling how they
- Ask if they
have a plan. Again, don't be afraid to say, "So, how would you
do it? With a gun?" Any idea that you might suggest are ideas
they have already thought about. You will not "plant" ideas in
- If suicide
is immiment - i.e., if their plan includes a weapon of choice,
and if they have access to the weapon of choice, call the police.
- Because they
do not want to die, suicidals will usually keep any promise
they make. So, make a suicidal person promise you they will contact
you before they commit suicide. This will give you time to contact
the proper help.
- When talking
with a suicidal person, use the word "complete" suicide
instead of "commit" suicide. Commit implies that they
are committing a crime or doing something wrong and that brings
about feelings of guilt to the suicidal.
them to talk with an adult.
- If you feel
that you are unable to handle their problems (which is perfectly
okay: suicidals do need professional help) then tell an adult
and let that adult take over.
- Pray. Pray
alone for the person and in groups. The Bible says that when two
or more people are gathered in his name, then He is among them.
He does not want anyone to complete suicide. Pray.
are a lot of people in this world who are hurting and believe
me, sometimes merely feeling misunderstood is reason enough to end
life. But your life is very, very important and help is just one
the national, US number for suicide is 1-800-SUICIDE. In the UK
you can contact the Samaritans on 0845 790 90 90. Most other countries
have a suicide hotline, look in the front of the 'phone book).